Dear Pat (Manager of the F-wood Pool),
     You're an awful manager. You have no idea how much I dislike you and how little I think of you. You have one of the easiest jobs: sit at the window and take season passes/money and check the ph&chlorine of the pool. Yet, this is still too much to ask of you so you resort to walking around aimlessly, smoking constantly, inviting your friends to the pool and hanging out with them, playing with your iPhone (and oh yea, just 'cause you have one, doesn't make you cool), and taking trips to Turkey Hill. Also you make us go more chairs than is actually needed because you don't like when we're just sitting around. But just so you know, us "just sitting around" is a break and we actually need them after sitting in the hot sun for 30+ minutes at a time. You made Emily clean out the dead mouse from the filter today, which is a) gross and b) incredibly rude because she was supposed to be watching the baby pool and you were just playing on your phone. Again. Also, on top of your behavior at the pool itself, you've scheduled me to work every weekend since the pool opened. And I'm supposed to work this Saturday when I specifically e-mailed you all the dates I couldn't work in May, and I know I had this Saturday written down.
      All in all, start doing your job.
     (And I can kinda see why you're not married anymore).
-Me (a very agitated lifeguard who could do a much better job managing than you)

Dear Ryan Ross and Jon Walker,
     I still refuse to accept that you're leaving Panic! At the Disco (yes, I still use the !. It looks cooler). Please realize that this is a mistake and start groveling for your positions back; especially because Aaron told me that your third cd supposedly sounds more like your first one which I personally liked waaaay more than Pretty. Odd. I hope you're starting to realize what you've done now. I'm willing to chalk this up to a hacker and a bad practical joke if you are.
-Me

Dear Torchwood Writers/Producers Etc,
( spoilers for children of the earth )
-Me

Dear Shonda/Writers of Grey's Anatomy,
     Why did you rip Isobel Stevens right off of Isabel Evans (from Roswell)? Was it too hard to think of a different situations to put her through? Or at least change the name?
-Me

Dear Cobra Starship,
     I adore you all; especially you, Vicky T. You are my idol. I can't wait for your new album and I'm so glad you finally have a song on the radio! It was on B104 (I think) today at the pool and I sang along and it made my torturous day a little better. I am sorry to say, however, that I don't think I'll be able to see you on your Hot Mess Across the US Tour. But this is also partially your fault for not having one single show in Pennsylvania. What gives?
     I'm also really enjoying your cobra cam tv. They're all really funny although You're Not Asian is still the one thing that can bring a smile to my face no matter what.
Fangs Up!
-Me

Dear Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,
    I 'm very sorry that life has prevented me from seeing you yet. Although I'm not sure what's up with this IMAX 3-D deal. Is the whole thing in 3d? Or just the first 12 minutes? And why is it only in 3d in NY& LA (and other big cities) now while the other cities (*coughReading*cough) have to wait to show the 3d version until July 29th?? This is very unfair. I can't decide whether I should just see it now or wait for the 3d and imax.
-Me

Dear New LJ Location Detector,
    Hahahaha, I'm so not in Zionsville! Try again =)
-Me